Friendship begins in the family

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”

​​​ ― Helen Keller

The title sounds a bit cheesy, since that isn’t the truth with a majority of families. However, true lessons are those, learnt by experience and not by theory. Just like one learns a lot by surviving a ship wreck than gaining ‘gyaan’ from a text book. Friend or friendship – these words arouse in us a world of sentiments, smiles and a sudden realization of what the world would look like without those who make our lives lively. Friends bring out the silliness in us that we so passionately hide behind the pretentious mega-curtain of our performance-based-lifestyles and make us enjoy the humour in every silly thing about us. In short, “Blessed is the man who has friends, for he shall be better at being himself.”

Friendship doesn’t have a set place/age/time or any such requirement. Its better said in C.S. Lewis words ““Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself”. The world we live in has more to say and offer about friendship than probably all the other ages put together. Kudos to tech- friendship, it just takes a request to become a friend and a “like” or two to become a fan. But we all know it, that truth ultimately prevails- and so it goes with friendship too. Well said by the Anonymous friend – “true friend is the one who walks in, when the whole world walks out”. So let me assist you to the first place where this kind of friendship can be found and why it is authenticated.

Family- Friendship begins in the family and grows from there. This is the place God originally wanted friendships to breed. Why?

Institution

God established family as the first institution and functional human organization. Family is the first place where He intended friendship to start and grow. Why? Primarily- it’s the first (and many times) the only place, where we don’t pretend. We are candidly ourselves. There’s no other place on God’s green earth, where we are ridiculously ourselves. Remember true friendship is about loving the true friend, with all his/her true personality traits and not a fake image. That’s why true friendship must begin in the family, where everyone knows who the actual person is.

Information

INFORMATION- can be the nick name of our age! Right from choosing a tooth brush in the morning to the most important decision of our life, almost everything in between is decided based on the info, one receives in life. Life begins with accumulating info, then analyzing it and then adapting it into every aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, some of the most important info about life like- relationships, friendship, sex and sanctitiy is passed on to young generation from polluted sources. The world has nothing good (everything is corrupted to the core- it only has a sweet coated, cultural appeal to it). Info coming from a polluted source has nothing but pollution that destroys mind, body and spirit. The book of proverbs in the Bible is a pungent reminder from our Creator that God intended family to be the primary source of info. Read proverbs- it’s the father educating his children about everything we rarely think of doing.

Inspiration

I have heard stories of people being heroes almost everywhere, except in the family. Somehow we think that if people are differently gifted than us, they need not be recognised, it’s a common disease both in parents and children. Inspiration is allowing a person to grow as God wants him to. The book of Proverbs has a good deal about it too. It tells us about the wise man and how his wisdom leads and inspires others to walk in ways that will enable people to grow in Godly ways.

Identity

If there’s one place a person’s identity is formed, then it’s in the family. Somehow in this world that embraces, earn more- live less philosophy – Our Lord Jesus’ words should be considered with greater reverence- In Luke 12:15” Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life doesn’t consist in the abundance of possessions”. People who are perplexed about their identity, struggle so, because in the family, there was rarely a minute given to contribute to this most important aspect of his/her life. If you are a father/ mother reading this- kindly allow this truth to set this problem right in your family and see how this has a spiral effect on the life your child. Well, if your thinking how to do it- get on your knees and pray. The Lord is more than willing to help us. The most important people God placed in our lives are those in our family- if we fail to influence them and go around winning positions and possessions, then beware, you may run the risk of jeopardising God intended relationships and responsibilities.

Finally a word for the YOUNG CHAMPS- don’t fool yourselves by claiming hundreds of friends online- be a good friend to your family member first. Someone rightly said – If you go around looking for friends, you will barely find one- but if you go out into the world wanting to be one- then you will find plenty of them.

Friendship ought to begin in the family!